However, the process for agreeing the future relationship between the United Kingdom and the rest of the EU fraternity has become not just a national embarrassment but also frighteningly acrimonious. The shrill anger and extreme rhetoric, particularly from pro-Brexit campaigners, could be misconstrued as a signal of hatred for you, our fellow European Union citizens. I want you to know that nothing could be further from the truth and offer an apology for that misunderstanding.

The anger of those who insist we have a responsibility to deliver on the result of the Brexit referendum, myself included, is directed entirely towards our uncompromising representatives in Parliament who have, through incompetence or selfish ambitions, failed to deliver on their promises to us. We don’t hate Europe. We love Europe.

Once we leave the EU, and it is imperative for the credibility of our democracy that we do leave the EU, you will find there is no clamour for Britain to raise the metaphorical drawbridge and isolate ourselves from our closest neighbours. We love Europe.

We’ll still want to drive German cars, devour French cheeses, sit on Swedish furniture, wear Italian fashions, drink Spanish sangria and enjoy all the other commercial and cultural exports from the EU to which we’ve become accustomed. And there’s no question that we will still want to visit you – and middle-aged British women will continue to enjoy holiday romances with your lotharios. We love Europe.

Have no doubt that we’ll still want to sun ourselves on your beaches, admire your historic architecture, shop in your city centres, take leisurely drives through your countryside and applaud for your entertainers and artists. We love Europe.

And we hope that you’ll still come and visit us too. We want you to see Parliament, hear Big Ben, marvel at Stonehenge, admire our historic castles and be awed by Loch Ness and ponder the existence of its fabled monster. We want you, young and old, to study in our world-renowned universities.

We love Europeans.

And you will always be welcome.

Yours fraternally,

Junaid Abbas Bhatti

The Baron of Ballencrieff

P.S. Scotland, in particular, is so beautiful you may well be moved to weep at its natural splendour. (However, it is best enjoyed during the summer time.)

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